Every year, we’re treated to fossils of rock and roll providing halftime entertainment that appeals to the most common denominator. Naturally, most of it is excruciating to independent music fans. Here’s a list of awful moments from this year’s big game (in chronological order).
1. Faith Hill’s Super Bowl / Monday Night Football theme adaptation
– It’s a song so corny that it had to be tweaked for a redux. What, Pink wasn’t available for a duet?
2. Pepsi’s Bob Dylan / Will.I.Am commercial
– One of the most overrated musicians of all time meets a co-creator of “My Humps” in a cheesy video montage. How could it go wrong?
3. Bruce Springsteen throwing a guitar that he wasn’t using.
– There’s nothing like pointless showmanship.
4. Bruce Springsteen introducing “the righteous and mighty power of the E Street Band.”
– It would have been better had it been purposefully sacrilegious.
5. Bruce Springsteen telling the world to “step back from the guacamole dip.”
– Look, Bruce, no one tells me to back away from guacamole…especially from my homemade special.
6. Bruce Springsteen sliding on his knees, crashing into a rolling video camera with his crotch.
– Come to think of it, this probably was the best moment.
7. The myriad “1-2-3” countdowns during Bruce Springsteen’s set.
– Towards the end, he let out a grunt-like version of this. Does that still count?
8. The unbelievably hokey “quitting time” exchange between Bruce Springsteen and the guitarist in the bandana.
– After a fake referee ran out to throw a “delay of game” penalty, the exchange didn’t seem like it could get any worse…until Mr. Bandana proclaimed, “It’s Boss time.”
9. Bruce Springsteen closing out his set with six consecutive guitar twirls.
– Really?
10. Bruce Springsteen, immediately after his guitar twirls, proclaiming, “I’m going to Disney Land.”
– In a halftime show full of cliché rockisms, this cliché Super Bowlism proved that The Boss understands the working-man appeal of vacationing in Southern California.
agreed and agreed. see also:
when springsteen threw the superflouous guitar, it almost knocked the roadie in the teeth.
when bob costas asked him why he was playing this super bowl after declining previous times, Springsteen said “I have an album to promote, dummy. It’s not rocket science.”
they ended the set on “glory days” which is a song, in part, about athletes with crap lives trying to make themselves feel better by reminiscing on their athletic achievements. not a real uplifter for the super bowl.
the only thing missing from this super bowl was an appearance by m.i.a. so the grossly overrated triumvirate would be complete (joinging springsteen and the bob dylan pepsi ad).
What about the referee skit. ‘We’re going into to over time. Penalty time.” etc. that was pretty bad too.
Tom, that’s what I was getting into with #8. So bad.
LOL @ Alarm Press. Bob Dylan is one of the most overrated musicians in history? Don’t you guys all love Justice?
One or two of our writers like Justice. I would have said that Dylan is straight-up awful, but I didn’t want to come down too hard on him for what little involvement he probably had in that commercial.
At least we didn’t call Fleet Foxes “the best new band of the past 5 years.”
LOL, good one Scott Morrow. Good to know you’re reading the blog. Coming from someone who loves Faith No More as much as you do, that’s a complement.
Besides, everyone knows that Justice is the best new band of the last 5 years.
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